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If you see ME on the road……say HI………

 

 

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Call it a job hazard…..

I just know that even after almost 29 years as a PICU nurse, I still feel so much for those in my care…… Especially when it hits home.

Last night, I helped to admit a previously healthy 10 month old boy who had been throwing up for no reason. His mother was so distraught, all alone with her husband at home with her two other children. I helped settle her in the PICU, brought her some water and juice and tried to calm her fears.

Her son was quite ill, taken quickly to CT Scan that showed some damage to his bowel and he was soon being rushed to surgery.

Now this is where the close to home part comes in……..

The mother kept asking my coworker and I “He’s gonna be ok right? You guys have seen this before and they are fine after right?”

My heart got so heavy…. Luckily my coworker was more composed and provided her with the best answer he could.

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When my middle son was 18 DAYS old, he started throwing up bile…

We rushed him to the doctor and were quickly told he could have a serious bowel obstruction. We were sent to Kaiser SF where an incarcerated umbilical hernia was diagnosed and he was taken to surgery that was performed by a world renowned pediatric surgeon I knew from UCSF who just happened to be covering that Saturday!

All went well…he’s now 18 YEARS old, BUT I remember THAT day like it was yesterday and the memories are strong …..

So how did it all go last night?

The patient did well and I did what any night nurse would do…showed the Mom lots of TLC and made sure she got all the information and support she needed…

THEN…

I came home this am and cried…..

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Last week as I was writing of my younger sons upcoming birthdays, my heart was HEAVY….

Thoughts of an emotional week for my oldest son weighed on my mind….

The demise of my marriage unfortunately played out in front of my 3 sons as a letter came in the mail one day telling me the TRUTH about my husband….

No more needs to be said, but from that letter forward, I was DONE, gone leaving the LIES behind

Each son reacted to this life event in their own way.

My oldest was my strength

My middle son was angry and

My youngest protective

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One fateful Sunday 2 plus years ago, my oldest asked me to go walk on the beach with him…..

There he told me of a mistake he made and how he needed my help and as we both sobbed, I promised him I would be there every step of the way….

He made a choice and it resulted in him losing his license and going to court and doing community service

YOU get the picture right?

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The mountain was a climb, the challenges great. …..

BUT after 2 long years of not driving, I handed him the keys back to his car…….

I sobbed

I am crying now writing this…..

I am so PROUD of how he handled this life lesson and blessed with his neverending support of me in my journey to Truth.

I LOVE U DREW…..

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I know TIME FLIES but REALLY????

These two are about to be 14 & 18 

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I remember like it was YESTERDAY taking THIS photo……

My time with them means the WORLD to ME

WE talk..WE share..They have my FULL attention….

and my heart and they KNOW it…..
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Happy Birthday MY 2 of 3 sons……who were once tiny boys who looked up to me…..

now its all about me looking up to them

at 6′ 3″ 6′ 4″ LOL

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I started this blog years ago to highlight my PASSION for nursing and RECOGNIZE the profession.

In recent years, it has become more personal for me as I went through lots of life changes.

My devotion to nursing never changed, but I began to prioritize myself more and my 3 sons and my circle of friends.

TAKING TIME

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Last week, I had the opportunity to sit in on new graduate nurse interviews.

1000 applicants….6 positions…..

The look in their eyes…The desire to become the ONE………

It INSPIRES me to know that I will be able to mentor these new nurses soon and help them grow

Well that and I am also planning on retiring in 6 years, so SOMEONE has to take my position …..

Today I CELEBRATE my LOVE for nursing and the relationships that form when you work with the BEST people EVER!!!!

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I couldn’t sleep the other night, so I did what any respectful, intelligent night nurse does…

I stalked Pinterest.

Pinterest is the answer to ALL of lifes problems and it had been AWHILE since my last visit……

Who needs therapy?

Pinterest has a QUOTE for what is on your mind….

When I was first divorced, I thought I could write a book from all I learned

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The truth is the BETTER book is on my life as a SINGLE woman in 2015….

For so long, I thought I wanted to be in a relationship again….

tried it…….hated it…..now settled with what I have..

A GREAT life filled with Happiness that comes from ME first!

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I KNOW I will NEVER marry again and being SINGLE has sooooo many good moments

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Like this song that a special guy sent me …. It’s my THEME song right now……

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A good friend of mine took his life one week ago today….

THERE are NO WORDS….

I have struggled and spent time in silence and then spent time talking nonstop to make SENSE of his choice….

It was HIS Choice………

He was facing challenges……lots on his plate…….

What is left behind now is hurt, confusion, questions and a great LOSS…..

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One of my very wise friends said it BEST….

You never know what is behind the smile…you never know what someone is going through…….

I know how it feels to be lost……..I have had some very sad moments in my life……

I challenged myself EVERYDAY to get up and once my feet hit the ground……..it was a NEW day

But it took GREAT STRENGTH and the love of my 3 sons to get me through it

 

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I will MISS his laughter, his kindness, his SPIRIT so MUCH

BUT for me the Key to his person was his LAUGH….it was a GREAT Laugh

It’s here in my heart…. Always and forever……

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They took a CHANCE on me…. I took a CHANCE on THEM…….

A HUGE Leap of FAITHa494e804c358d2ec5af85d183f52e172Could I possibly go from preschool teacher who loved healthy children to caring for Critically Ill Children who Scared me to Death?

Yes! I could

Yes I did

28 years later……I’m still there

126874914472558233_9qRmiiGP_bMy HEART is SOOOOO Full today as I think back to the beginning……

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THIS song…….Fills my heart.

Today I celebrate my Dad….the man who guided me in the RIGHT direction every time.

We fought…….I was (am) stubborn.……I fought his advice for so many years.

BUT one day he took me aside and said “Shauna go to nursing school…I will make it work”

I did…he DID

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Not a day goes by that I don’t THANK HIM for all his support. I tell the boys my many DAD stories and how blessed I was to have had him in my corner.

Living in the house I grew up in makes me remember quite clearly who I was and who I want to be…….

I try every shift caring for critically ill children and their families to make my Dad proud.

“There but for the GRACE of God go I”

I celebrate my Dad today and the 3 sons who bless me with their unconditional love

Its hard to look at them and know they are all MEN now not my boys

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We are a Party of 4 and I am GRATEFUL for them EVERYday…….one day they will be Fathers…

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